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Yeah I spent too much time drawing this. But I like it!
It's Porthos, Aramis and Athos comparing dick sizes, kind of modern AU I guess.
Here there be dicks )
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Title: A Tale Of Malta
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sevenswells
Beta: breathtaken
Rating: Mature
Fandom/Pairing: The Musketeers (2014), Athos/Aramis
Warnings/Tropes: Fake Relationship, sex in a hammam, erotic asphyxiation, mild Stockholm Syndrome
Summary: Athos and Aramis are sent to Malta on a delicate mission where the odds are decidedly stacked against them, involving a French aristocrat made hostage, pirates of the Mediterranean Sea, and Turkish baths.
Notes: Credits for the cover picture go to sweetrupturedlight on tumblr (original post here : http://sweetrupturedlight.tumblr.com/post/81175880240 ) who kindly gave me their permission to use it and associate it with this fic.
This fic is for the lovely [livejournal.com profile] evildrem who asked for Athos/Aramis porn and I had this nagging idea about Turkish baths, so I asked the marvellous and precious [livejournal.com profile] berylia for help and on the spot she whipped up super awesome ideas with Malta and pirates and Turks, so you have her to thank for the fact that there’s an actual plot in this fic – of course it is also dedicated to her.
As always, all my thanks to my beta breathtaken/crabsandlobsters, I consider myself extremely lucky to have her support.
I loved writing this, to me it’s the perfect summer fic: travel and exoticism and sunny places and pirates and political intrigue! Huzzah!
Word count: 7 635

Also available on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1924989


Cover picture credits to sweetrupturedlight @ tumblr





Génétique en bandoulière / Des chromosomes dans l'atmosphère / Des taxis pour les galaxies / Et mon tapis volant dit / Le vent nous portera )

Done!

Jul. 5th, 2014 09:52 pm
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Right, so I've finished writing The Malta Job, it's about 7.5K words long and it's been sent to beta, which will probably take a little while.

I'll post the whole polished beta'd thing here and on AO3 under a new title; I've decided to call it "A Tale Of Malta" which maybe sounds less weird.

It should be up at the beginning of next week, either Monday or Tuesday ^^
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Title : Only In The Dark
Author : [livejournal.com profile] sevenswells
Beta : breathtaken (on AO3)/crabsandlobsters (on tumblr)
Rating : Explicit (NC-17)
Fandom/Pairing : BBC The Musketeers (2014), Athos/d’Artagnan
Warnings : PWP, foot fetish, shoe fetish, leather kink, anal play, slight BDSM
Summary : D’Artagnan wears stilettos to bed, and Athos has a fetish (modern AU).
Comments : This fic is a remix of FunkyInFishnet’s The Glitter On And Under Skin ; not exactly a missing scene, but set in the same universe and more or less respecting her characterization. I really recommend reading her fic first, I loved it.
All my thanks to my very supportive beta breathtaken/crabsandlobsters, she’s amazing.
First foot fetish fic ever ! Which is surprising, considering I have the hugest kink for anything feet myself. Self-congratulations are in order. Well done, me.
Word count : 1 747 w.

Also available on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1800940

In the dawn / I wake up to find / Her gone / And a note says / Only after dark )
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athos fanmix couv alt
athos fanmix playlist cover

J’ai mal d’être moi - an Athos fanmix
(because nothing like being drunk and depressed in French)

1. L’ivrogne - Jacques Brel

2. Il n’y a pas d’amour heureux - Georges Brassens

3. De glace - Pierre Lapointe

4. Le vent nous portera - Noir Désir

5. Ton invitation - Louise Attaque

6. A l’avance - Deportivo

7. Je bois - Boris Vian

LISTEN HERE
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PARTY LIKE A MUSKETEER
***An outrageous fanmix for your military-themed dance parties***

1. My Oh My - Aqua

2. Die Young - Ke$ha

3. Commander - Kelly Rowland feat. David Guetta

4. Fighter - Christina Aguilera

5. L.S.F. - Kasabian

6. Seconds - U2

7. Heroes - David Bowie

8. Some Nights - Fun.

9. Rock The Casbah - The Clash

10. Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

11. Killing In The Name - Rage Against The Machine

12. Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast

13. Massive Attack - Nicki Minaj feat. Sean Garrett

14. Run Boy Run - Woodkid

15. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

16. Oh My God - Kaiser Chiefs

17. Holiday - Green Day

18. Uprising - Muse

19. Hey Brother - Avicii
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Title: The Cupbearer
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sevenswells
Beta: the amazing breathtaken/crabsandlobsters on tumblr, she did the best possible job on this
Rating: Mature (PG-15)
Fandom/Pairing: BBC The Musketeers (2014)/d'Artagnan Romances (Three Musketeers series), Olivier de la Fère (Athos)/a statue
Warnings: Agalmatophilia (sexual desire for statues), masturbation
Summary: A 15-year-old Athos (known then as Olivier de la Fère) explores his sexuality, at a time when magazines with photos of naked men didn't exist.
Comments: This may look a lot like crack, but it's actual canon from Dumas' Twenty Years After, where Athos admits to d'Artagnan that he fell in love with a Greek statue when he was 15: "I remember that at the age of Raoul I had become amorous of a Greek statue that the good King Henry IV had given to my father, and that I thought I should become insane with grief when they told me that the story of Pygmalion was only a fable.".

What I found interesting in that story is that neither the subject nor even the gender of the statue was defined, so I made the statue male, and I wanted to explore this idea of Athos discovering his sexual preferences with that statue. I chose Ganymede as the subject because Zeus/Ganymede is the epitome of the homosexual relationship in ancient times, and also because Ganymede's function as a cupbearer to me is sort of a foreshadowing of Athos' problems with alcohol (and in the end, it all has to do with love, it's very symbolical).

Word count: 2 398 w.

Also available on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1485589

A heart of stone, a smoking gun / I can give you life, I can take it away )
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19/03/2014:

J'ai fini Les Trois Mousquetaires!
En attendant mon méta, une petite citation GPOY pour se mettre en jambe:

"Pendant ce temps, Son Eminence continuait sa promenade mélancolique en murmurant entre ses moustaches: "Décidément, il faut que ces quatre hommes soient à moi.""

Same, Richelieu. Same. (-___-)/

09/04/2014:

Et voici enfin mon méta sur la fin des Trois Mousquetaires! Si les autres posts étaient longs, celui-ci pète un peu tous les records, mais il fallait au moins ça.

Donc, là où on avait laissé Milady, elle s'embarquait pour l'Angleterre pour aller buter le Duc de Buckingham. Sauf que d'Artagnan envoie Planchet pour prévenir le beau-frère de Milady, Lord de Winter, qu'elle en veut peut-être à son héritage aussi et en profitera pour le zigouiller aussi au passage. Du coup Lord de Winter envoie un de ses hommes de main, un dénommé Felton, pour arrêter Milady. Et contre cette séductrice ultime, Lord de Winter a trouvé la parade ultime: Felton est, paraît-il, totalement insensible aux charmes des femmes. Congratz on being gay.
Milady se retrouve enfermée, gardée jour et nuit, sans moyens de contacter le Cardinal ni de mener à bien sa mission, et s'évader semble chaud patate, vu qu'elle est dans un château au-dessus d'une falaise avec des cure-dents en guise de couverts.
Et c'est là que le génie absolu de Milady éclate. En effet, contrairement à une vile séductrice écrite par Moffat, Milady n'use pas de ses "vénéneux charmes féminins" et autres armes de séduction pour s'en sortir: elle déduit que Felton (en plus d'être gay) est un Protestant au placard, et du coup elle se met à chanter des psaumes protestants dans sa cellule, et laisse sous-entendre que c'est à cause de sa foi qu'elle est enfermée. GENIUS. Lord de Winter a beau prévenir Felton que Milady est une rascasse et qu'elle ne fait que le manipuler, Felton ne marche pas, il court. Point d'orgue, Milady -- qui a désormais toute l'attention de Felton -- monte un énorme bateau comme quoi le duc de Buckingham est Satan et a abusé d'elle (toujours parce qu'elle est Protestante) et que si on s'en débarrassait l'Angleterre serait sauvée de la perdition. Bingo; grâce à son gros cerveau et une force de manipulation diabolique, non seulement Milady s'évade, mais en plus elle s'est fabriquée un gentil petit extrémiste qui va très efficacement buter Buckingham à sa place, et en plus qui ne la dénoncera jamais, persuadé qu'il est qu'elle est un ange et la Vertu incarnée.
Quelques citations fort jolies à propos de Milady:

"Milady n'était reine que parmi les reines; il fallait à sa domination le plaisir de l'orgueil satisfait. Commander aux êtres inférieurs était plutôt une humiliation qu'un plaisir pour elle." (actual Domme Milady de Winter)

"Au reste, l'orage qui grondait en elle doublait sa force, et elle eût fait éclater les murs de sa prison, si son corps eût pu prendre un seul instant les proportions de son esprit."

"et comme un serpent qui roule et déroule ses anneaux pour se rendre compte à lui-même de sa force, elle enveloppait d'avance Felton dans les mille replis de son inventive imagination."

Tout est bien qui finit dans un bain de sang )
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08/03/2014:

Nez droit, check, beau sourcil noir, check, mains à la nuance nacrée, check.



Casting: you're doing it right, BBC.

14/03/2014:

Donc, aujourd'hui je vais vous saoûler parce que c'est le 170ème anniversaire de la première publication des Trois Mousquetaires.

D'abord fun fact: le titre original du premier bouquin était "Athos, Porthos et Aramis" mais l'éditeur de Dumas ne trouvait pas ça assez parlant et a suggéré "Les Trois Mousquetaires" à la place.

Dumas lui répond alors ceci: "Mon cher ami, Je suis d’autant plus de votre avis d’appeler le roman ‘Les Trois Mousquetaires’, que comme ils sont quatre, le titre sera absurde, ce qui promet au roman le plus grand succès".

Alexandre Dumas, sassmaster et king of trolls.

Athos/d'Artagnan: mon ship vogue aussi bien que le vôtre )
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I have about three plot bunnies related to The Musketeers, plus the sequel to the SnK threesome that I've already begun to write, plus my The Enlightenment fic (in French) that is about 60% written too, and I intend to do them all at the same time (never did that before, should be fun. Or, you know, just absolutely horrible). Concerning the ones about The Musketeers, one of them is a series of snippets about Milady de Winter, all connected and forming a story shadowing the plot of the series, but based on my headcanon here.
Here's the first bit, it's PG-13 for now, the rating might go up in other ones.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: Bad Machine - 1
Fandom/Character: BBC The Musketeers, Milady de Winter
Rating: PG-13 for now
Warnings: Death, murder, atheism; and everything related to Milady de Winter, really
Word count: 228 w.

There was no Heaven or Hell.

As the rope tightened around her neck, she glimpsed into death, and saw nothing. No angels, no demons to take her away somewhere better, or worse. Priests and Princes and Books of Truth fill the afterlife with so much clutter, when the answer is clearer and simpler, so obvious.

And then she came to life. Anne belonged to nothing from then on: when she opened her eyes, she was Milady. Although she didn’t go by that name yet, she didn’t even know who was the person she’d become — she would, eventually, and despite all the names and identities that she would later assume, Milady was the best fit of all, the one meant to survive.

At first she was lost, and confused, and just as a newborn, she wept, crying herself raw. She was weeping on Anne’s death — because no one else would cry on her, that much she knew — and how unfair it was that she was alive instead. It made no sense. None of it did. There was a hole, a bottomless well that Anne had left, poor Anne, pure Anne, with her heart full of love for her murderer.

When the crying subsided, and she came to herself, starting to grasp and master who she was, Milady touched the mark on her throat, and to Anne’s shadow, promised revenge.
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08/03/2014:

L'aveu d'Athos à d'Artagnan concernant l'exécution de son ex-femme (et la fleur de lis et tout le reste) est une scène horrible, awkward et poignante, ça m'a tué de feels; parce qu'Athos en parle d'abord en disant que c'est arrivé à un """"""ami""""""" à lui et c'est douloureusement transparent que c'est bien de lui qu'il s'agit ("Un de mes amis, un de mes amis, entendez-vous bien ! pas moi, dit Athos en s'interrompant avec un sourire sombre" ... oh, Athos :(((( ), sauf peut-être à d'Artagnan qui de prime abord ne remet pas cette prémisse en question... jusqu'à ce qu'Athos parle de l'accident où "l'ami" découvre la fleur de lis (ce qui se passe après est décrit en une seule phrase, et pour moi d'une brutalité infinie: "-Le comte était un grand seigneur, il avait sur ses terres droit de justice basse et haute, il acheva de déchirer les habits de la comtesse, il lui lia les mains derrière le dos et la pendit à un arbre"). Et là, l'échange qui m'a fait un coup au coeur:

"- Ciel ! Athos ! un meurtre ! s'écria d'Artagnan.
- Oui, un meurtre, pas davantage, dit Athos pâle comme la mort."

TEARS. TEARS EVERYWHERE. )
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05/03/2014:

Ca fait au moins deux jours que je n'ai pas cité tout ce putain de bouquin, il faut que j'y remédie: je suis arrivée (avec une trépidation certaine) au chapitre intitulée "La femme d'Athos" et je peux vous dire que RIGHT IN THE FEELS (attention ça va être KILOMÉTRIQUE je vous préviens)

Dumas delivers. ALWAYS. )
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28/02/2014

Citation du jour, dite de "squeeeee Athos squeeeee"

"Quoique Athos eût à peine trente ans et fût d'une grande beauté de corps et d'esprit, personne ne lui connaissait de maîtresse. Jamais il ne parlait de femmes. [...] Sa réserve, sa sauvagerie et son mutisme en faisaient presque un vieillard; il avait donc, pour ne point déroger à ses habitudes, habitué Grimaud à lui obéir sur un simple geste ou sur un simple mouvement des lèvres. [...] [Porthos] avait moins grand air qu'Athos, et le sentiment de son infériorité à ce sujet l'avait, dans le commencement de leur liaison, rendu souvent injuste pour ce gentilhomme, qu'il s'était alors efforcé de dépasser par ses splendides toilettes. Mais, avec sa simple casaque de mousquetaire et rien que par la façon dont il rejetait la tête en arrière et avançait le pied, Athos prenait à l'instant même la place qui lui était due et reléguait le fastueux Porthos au second rang."

MOAR Athos, et surtout : CONSTAAAAAAAANCE!!!!! )
sevenswells: (Default)
Je me suis mise récemment à lire la trilogie des Mousquetaires (pour des raisons qui me semblent assez évidentes au vu de l'accumulation de posts sur ce journal qui traitent bizarrement du même sujet), que je n'avais jamais lue avant, et j'ai été tellement enthousiaste que je me suis mise à faire des comptes-rendus à mes copains sur Facebook.
Ça les a fait marrer, ça m'a fait marrer, du coup je me dis que je vais archiver tout ça ici histoire de. Ça va se faire en plusieurs parties (avec des dates, pour avoir un minimum d'ordre et faire genre "journal de bord du capitaine") parce que j'ai eu pas mal de trucs à dire (et ÉNORMÉMENT de squee de fangirl); j'espère que ça intéressera aussi les francophones de ma f-list, d'aucuns disent que j'ai une lecture... particulière de ces bouquins.

C'est parti:

Les Trois Crevures )
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The season finale of The Musketeers is over, it wasn’t as brilliant as I hoped it would be but was still quite good. I’m a little unsatisfied with how Milady was written; not that it was completely horrible, she’s still quite awesome, but.

But I don’t think she was fully developed, the way she was promised to be in the first few episodes — personnally, I fell in love with her in episode 2 where she was basically murdering people and stealing stuff and messing with people’s head for shits and giggles apparently, and I thought, “FINALLY! AWESOME! A Chaotic Evil female character!” And she was so efficient and amazing as an assassin and spy, I just loved her.


(gif source: http://deathwillbemybride.tumblr.com/post/80592357493 )

So I kind of developed a whole interpretation of her which I think turned out to be more headcanon than actual writing in the show, except for a few shining moments (the whole conversation she has with Richelieu in episode 7 about afterlife and Hell, for one, that fits my headcanon just beautifully).

Anyway, here’s a little meta (mostly headcanon) that I whipped up right after seeing the last episode of The Musketeers, about Milady de Winter (it’s a bit of a mess, I have lots of feelings, please bear with me):

I'm not looking for absolution. I want revenge! )
sevenswells: (Default)
Fics I need to write:

-an obscure fic in French for a fandom that doesn't even exist

-the sequel to my Attack on Titan threesome porn fic

-a Musketeers brothel AU, Athos/d'Artagnan; I'd like to make it with a plot and multi-chaptered, lord help me

-a Free!/Musketeers fusion with the boys as a swimming team (d'Artagnan only swims freestyle heyyyyy) except I don't know shit about swimming or even sports in general (food? Hell yeah, bring it, anything, I'm the expert. Sports...? ...How does that even work?). I just know swimmers have great bods, yeaaaaah

-I'd like to try my hand at mpreg and give Aramis a baby, but even thoughts of pregnancy scare the shit out of me... So do I do it as a dare, like the 00Q daddy kink I dared myself to write? Hmmm.

See if I can write more than one fic per year! This should be interesting.
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Some poor soul on tumblr was unfortunate enough to ask what would be appropriate for the Musketeers to eat, and I decided to whip up immediately kilometers of meta on the subject. I happen to have a lot of feelings about 17th century French cuisine (about food in general, but 17th century French cuisine in particular, because Cyrano de Bergerac is one of my favourite plays ever and act II opens basically with food porn for no reason and it's awesome).

17th century is precisely the time where French cuisine come out of the Middle Ages; it's a time of new techniques, new products, and general innovations. 17th century is the "Grand Siècle", the Great Century, and obviously it called for a Grande Cuisine too because hey, THIS. IS. FRAAAAANCE!!!! Before that time, there was virtually no cookbook published for centuries, and in that century one of the first great French cooks called La Varenne published "Le Cuisinier François" ("the French cook") which became a best-seller (and which kept being re-printed until 1815!). It's the very first cookbook that details rules and principles of cooking.

17th century food porn hellz yeah )

So there, I hope this will help you if you ever want to make dishes as an homage to our boys the musketeers, or if you want a spot of food porn in your fanfics, or just if you want to know more about the history of French cuisine; at least I can say I had a lot of fun researching and writing this :)
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Yeaaaaaah this is lazy and boring I know but my version of Window Movie Maker sucks ass and I can't do a lot of stuff with it, plus however much I lie to myself, I don't *actually* have time for this
Anyway
I just really wanted to do this because I'm currently reading the books in French and the Athos/d'Artagnan game is SO STRONG guys, you have no idea, they're so in love with each other and Dumas ships them about as much as I do which is A LOT
It's brilliant.
I love that French is my first language, I love The Musketeers, I love Dumas.
Hence, I can't stop with the fanvids.
Sorryyyyyyy no I'm not
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Milady de Winter tribute with the song “Still Alive” from Portal because it amuses me to imagine Milady as GLaDOS, fucking with people's heads and doing "science" with Richelieu - it just works ridiculously well

Rating: PG
Spoilers: for most of the show I guess
sevenswells: (Default)
musketeersnerds2

Pastiche inspired by Dave Mercier: http://www.mercworks.net/declaration-of-indecooldence/

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