sevenswells: (Default)
Title: The Cupbearer
Author: [ profile] sevenswells
Beta: the amazing breathtaken/crabsandlobsters on tumblr, she did the best possible job on this
Rating: Mature (PG-15)
Fandom/Pairing: BBC The Musketeers (2014)/d'Artagnan Romances (Three Musketeers series), Olivier de la Fère (Athos)/a statue
Warnings: Agalmatophilia (sexual desire for statues), masturbation
Summary: A 15-year-old Athos (known then as Olivier de la Fère) explores his sexuality, at a time when magazines with photos of naked men didn't exist.
Comments: This may look a lot like crack, but it's actual canon from Dumas' Twenty Years After, where Athos admits to d'Artagnan that he fell in love with a Greek statue when he was 15: "I remember that at the age of Raoul I had become amorous of a Greek statue that the good King Henry IV had given to my father, and that I thought I should become insane with grief when they told me that the story of Pygmalion was only a fable.".

What I found interesting in that story is that neither the subject nor even the gender of the statue was defined, so I made the statue male, and I wanted to explore this idea of Athos discovering his sexual preferences with that statue. I chose Ganymede as the subject because Zeus/Ganymede is the epitome of the homosexual relationship in ancient times, and also because Ganymede's function as a cupbearer to me is sort of a foreshadowing of Athos' problems with alcohol (and in the end, it all has to do with love, it's very symbolical).

Word count: 2 398 w.

Also available on AO3:

A heart of stone, a smoking gun / I can give you life, I can take it away )
sevenswells: (Default)
Because making a snow Dalek and then cosplaying it for no reason is 100% valid use of my time


Basically, RUN )
sevenswells: (Default)
Sorry not sorry, this needed to be done.
Avenue Q/Skyfall crossover, with puppet!Q, puppet!Tanner, puppet!Bond and puppet!Silva. Safe for work, image heavy and references to the musical Avenue Q


Finally! I get to teach a whole lesson, all by myself!... )
sevenswells: (High Functioning Sociopath (Sherlock))
What the fuck, sorry, I don't know how to graphics
And I accidentally a second attempt at something of a fanmix
I should get down to work for fuck's sake

So basically I was stuck on R.E.M.'s "Imitation of Life" as Q's character song, and I kind of built a fanmix around that song and the idea of virtuality and computers and the Internet and how the Self is lost in all that and such, they're kind of cliché songs for that particular subject I guess, but I regret nothing (most of the time)


1. Blue Orchid | The White Stripes
2. technologic | Daft Punk
3. Machine | Regina Spektor
4. Be Yourself | Audioslave
5. Imitation of Life | R.E.M.
6. Fitter Happier | Radiohead
7. Love of the Loveless | Eels
8. Virtual Insanity | Jamiroquai

Listen Here:
sevenswells: (WTF (Big Bang Theory))
Once upon a time, I swore to [ profile] berylia that I would absolutely NOT go see the new James Bond movie.

"The first one was crap," said I, "the second one was SUPER crap, so I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here, this stops now do you hear me, there's NO WAY IN HELL I'm going to see that third one, I'm not STUPID, okay."
"Oh," said the wench in return, "but did you know that the lovely, lovely Ben Whishaw is going to play Bond's new Q wearing hipster glasses and that there's already fic about a Bond/Q pairing, and there's even a name for that ship, it's called "00Q", isn't that cute...?"
"askjfhfsdgfdkulifdkjhsfdhj," said I with foam around my mouth.

So! I haven't even seen the movie yet but I've accepted my fate, and I'm already drawing porn. Sketch, James Bond/Q with Daniel Craig as Bond and Ben Whishaw as Q, NC-17 and not worksafe, it has been inspired by this gif I've found on tumblr (careful, not safe for work either), I'll post a cleaned-up version later.

Hold your breath and count to ten )
sevenswells: (Getting a job is dull (Sherlock))
Here's how each and every episode of Teen Wolf goes:

Spoilers (well... more or less) under the cut )
sevenswells: (You are NOT a beautiful snowflake (FMA))

In France, we call bachelorette parties "enterrement de vie de jeune fille", which literally means, "maiden's life burial".
I was part of the organization for a friend's, and so we spent the afternoon at the Père Lachaise cemetery to bury her symbolically (amongst many other things, boy that day was a very busy day)
In this picture I am Death incarnate, the "maiden" sitting on the bench is (was) the bachelorette in question.
sevenswells: (This is not Sparta I am lost)
A y est, enfin, je viens de finir A Dance With Dragons.

Globalement, je trouve qu'il s'est payé un peu notre binette, le Martin. Il ne se passe rien dans les trois-quarts du bouquin, ça commence à s'accélérer un peu vers la fin, mais bon sans vraiment de coup de pression non plus, et juste quand il commence vraiment à se passer des trucs, il nous laisse les couilles bleues et la queue entre les doigts en nous claquant la porte au nez. Mais quelle pute.

Gros gros spoilers pour ceux qui ont pas lu ADWD )
sevenswells: (Shut up you were thinking it's annoying)
So recently there's been a few (a lot) of crossover fanarts Sherlock/The Phantom of the Opera. I have to say, I am horrified.

Why do people like the Phantom's character? Why do people think it's a "beautiful love story"? I don't get it. The same people might shun Twilight because the main female character gets repeatedly abused by the main male character who's a total dick, which is true, but they don't see that the Phantom of the Opera is the exact same shit -- no, actually it's even worse.

The Phantom is a murderer, a psychopath, a blackmailer, a stalker, a kidnapper, a thief, a terrorist -- there is absolutely no redeeming quality about him, he's as ugly on the inside as he is on the outside. If Christine feels any love for him, then she must have developed some serious Stockholm syndrome. Granted he taught her how to sing, but that just gave him a Pygmalion complex and he thinks he owns her, because of course he would also be jealous and possessive on top of it all. What a cock.

Then there's the Quasimodo complex. Why do beautiful women must absolutely fall in love with ugly men who love them? Why do they have to make the special effort to "see their inner beauty"? Because if Esmeralda doesn't love Quasimodo back, well then she's a superficial bitch. Throughout countless stories, ugly guys force their love upon beautiful women and those women are supposed to do all the work and appreciate their personality in return and overcome the ugliness that they see. While those guys certainly didn't fall for said women because they liked their conversation and wits in the first place.
Although Quasimodo did have, supposedly, a pure, beautiful soul inside a monstrous body. Which, again, is completely NOT the case with the Phantom.
And what if the Phantom was an ugly woman instead of a man? An ugly, murdering, thieving, stalking (etc etc) woman who kidnaps and mind-fucks a handsome male singer? I'm pretty sure nobody would have found excuses for her and thought that their "love story" was "beautiful".

What is it about the Phantom of the Opera, seriously?


Aug. 3rd, 2011 11:17 pm
sevenswells: (Pixel Sherlock's favourite word)






sevenswells: (WTF (Big Bang Theory))
Experienced comedy club last night for the first time at a pub in Kingston. It was absolutely brilliant, and I discovered this Canadian comedian called Jason John Whitehead -- he was very funny, also kind of cute; if you ever get the chance to see one of his gigs, I'd recommend it wholeheartedly, I personally had a very good time in his company ^^ (here's a Youtube link to one of his TV appearances: )

Although the prelude to that fantastic night was a very weird phone call I received in the afternoon (100% authentic):

GUY ON THE PHONE WITH STRONG NORTHERN ACCENT: Hello, I'm David from BT. I'm phoning because--
ME: Yeah, I'm not the person living here, I'm her cousin. Maybe you'd prefer to leave a message or phone la--
"DAVID FROM BT": No, it's okay, I'll speak with you. *explains something about pigeons on the line. He speaks fast, I'm not sure if I understand well. He wants me to count pigeons on some line? Something like that? I have no idea.* Listen, do you have a pen?
ME, decidedly unhelpful and a bit irritated: No.
"DAVID FROM BT", decidedly not flustered and insisting: Can you get one?
ME, sighing heavily, I put the phone down, look for a pen and a piece of paper, come back to the phone, sigh again to signify I'm back.
"DAVID FROM BT": Have you got the pen?
ME: Yeah.
"DAVID FROM BT": And a piece of paper?
ME: Yeah.
"DAVID FROM BT": I'll give you some numbers, can you write them down? *starts enumerating a very, VERY long string of random numbers. I fight the urge to laugh, as the absurdity of the situation finally kicks in.* Did you get them all?
ME: Um. Yes...?
"DAVID FROM BT": Now can you tell me how many holes there are on the phone you're speaking from?
ME: ...I'm sorry what?
"DAVID FROM BT": On the phone you're speaking from. How many holes are there?

At that point I hung up, and he didn't phone back. I still don't know if it was a prank call or if the guy was nuts or if it was a genuine call from BT and I didn't understand anything although I doubt it; but if you heard that conversation on the radio yesterday, well that was me. Maybe it was a game where I could win a million pounds and I totally blew it, what the hell. All I know is that call was about as random as that time where a guy phoned my student residence during my uni years and said his TV company was conducting a survey to improve the quality of Sunday nights erotica films on TV and make them more adequate for the modern audience. I spent almost an hour with him on the phone building an improbable porn story by answering his multiple choice questions; in the end he didn't start laughing and tell me it was all a joke and what a pervert I was, he just thanked me and hung up, like it was indeed an official thing. A year later, another guy (or maybe it was the same guy...?) called for the same thing, same TV company. I told him that we'd already been through this, he didn't insist and didn't call back.

Is it only me who attracts complete randomness like that? I wonder.

Next post will be another Five Food Things, London Special.
sevenswells: (WTF (Big Bang Theory))
It started out as the most stupid and ridiculous ideas of all time and now it seems... kind of cool, actually.

Tintin in 3D motion capture

I like Tintin, but I'm not exactly the biggest fan. I loathe motion capture, and nothing that came out of that media has really convinced me to this day.


Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson as producers, okay, we all knew that. Which was already kind of... big, like, something out of a parallel universe, one of those "what ifs" out of the worst nerd's wet dreams.

And now shit just got real.

Get this: screenplay by Steven Moffat and Edgar Wright.

With Jamie Bell, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Andy Serkis, and Gad Elmaleh (wait, what? WTF is Gad Elmaleh doing here??).

Directed by Steven Spielberg.



I feel like the world as we know it is about to end. °____°
sevenswells: (Thor and Sif win at feminism (Thor))
My choice of icon isn't really appropriate for what follows, but let's say it's more of a wish than a statement.

Thank you, Jon Stewart, for keeping your head when the rest of the world is going insane.
This comes after one of my cousins who is training to be a pilot told me last night that there are about 10% female pilots in airline companies these days, but when you take the plane, have you ever heard a female voice saying "I'll be your captain today"? That's because if people hear a female voice saying that, they would, apparently, freak out and want to leave the plane. So even if the captain is female, it's the copilot who will make the anouncements on board. If both pilot and copilot are female, well it's one of the stewards who will be in charge of speaking to the travellers, playing the part of the captain.

All of this is quite depressing, so let's have a few minutes of Benedict in powdered wig and silk tights flirting with another man on beautiful music in order to find some solace:

This makes me want to vid, too. Augh. Procrastination, BAD!
sevenswells: (Hop little plumberman!)

(found on roflrazzi)

"Christopher Eccleston" could have lasted longer, though. It does have a ring to it.

Which reminds me I really need to start watching Dr Who ^^

Oh. Noes.

Jan. 9th, 2011 07:45 am
sevenswells: (My deodorant is for men)
I wanna write porn based on this:

With clothes!kink.
Genderbent femslash always sounds like a really bad idea, but I seem to be chronically incapable of talking myself out of really bad ideas. =_____= Crap.
sevenswells: (Puckurt lurve)

What do you mean, "wishful thinking"? It totally happened, okay? YOU SEE, YOU JUST DON'T OBSERVE!
(still, it's kind of flattering, especially when no other pairing is featured. Puckurt rulez è0é9)

Also, France is fucked, 4chan is on to us:


(WTF is this post? What a mess!)
sevenswells: (PIMP Sherlock)
Why, yes, I'm bored.

sevenswells: (Puckzilla!)
I'm not sure, but I think what's best in life might very well be this:

I'd pay ANY AMOUNT of money to see that musical happen! °0°

On a more or less related note based on badassness level, I also want Mark Salling to play Riddick's little brother SO BAD!!! XD He'd be such a perfect Furyan warrior!
sevenswells: (Eric BRB Dying OMG)


*needs to calm the fuck down*
sevenswells: (Adorable Puck & Kurt as pears)
It's 01:46 am here and I don't want to go to sleep.

I knew I shouldn't have had that Diet Coke at lunch. -_____- *bounces off the walls*


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