sevenswells: (Default)
sevenswells ([personal profile] sevenswells) wrote2014-01-16 08:56 am

How to improve His Last Vow and write an ending that makes sense

So one more thing, and then I'll try my hardest to leave the matter alone. I've thought about it for like, fifteen minutes, and came up with what I think would be a better ending to His Last Vow. Here's how I would rewrite the episode:

His Last Vow redux:

Magnussen knows stuff (knowledge is power, France is bacon and all that jazz) and has a mind palace indeed, but he just pretends to have proof without actually having anything (why? Because blackmail material in hard copy can be eventually found and destroyed, whereas with this little scheme the blackmailing is virtually limitless). The letters he shows Sherlock in 221B after the fireplace incident are actually blank pieces of paper. There's a whole room of blank stuff or empty files in his house which visually makes for a beautiful metaphor (and if people find out about it, Magnussen can pretend it's a decoy for the "real" real blackmail material that he hides elsewhere -- but of course he doesn't have anything, it's all smoke and mirrors). The plot twist here is that Magnussen preys on fear with empty threats, and he pressures people psychologically with basically nothing -- which is the real perverse thing. A fake blackmailer.

In the denouement of the episode, instead of Magnussen just willingly showing the mind palace trick to Sherlock and John -- which would be a really stupid move on his part -- Sherlock deduces that Magnussen has a mind palace and that the information may be real, but the proofs are bullshit(or he can get the confession out of Magnussen in a daring and brilliant plan that unfolds in front of John's astonished eyes because Sherlock is totally clever and brilliant, and not a dumb fuck who gives a laptop full of sensitive material to the bad guys with no other plan than a GPS tracker inside the laptop). Because, you know, deducing or coming up with clever plans is what Sherlock does.

SHERLOCK: You're a fake, Magnussen. So leave me, my friends and all the people you've ever blackmailed alone, or else...

MAGNUSSEN: Or else what?

SHERLOCK: Or I'll tell them about your castle made of blank paper. You've built your power on nothing but fear, and that allowed you to behave like a pig, trampling people's dignity, but what happens when they're not scared of you anymore? And that's your own biggest fear, isn't it? Back to being nothing, being dismissed as, in your own terms, "unimportant"... A pity. You've a mind that could rival mine, and yet you chose to use it in the vilest way possible...

MAGNUSSEN: Why don't you tell them all already, and get this over with?

SHERLOCK, smiling darkly: Because I want you to behave, and see you dance to my tune. I want you to know what being blackmailed feels like. I want you to feel fear for the rest of your life, as long as I hold this over you. The blackmailed blackmailer. Quite poetic, don't you think? (He starts walking away from a completely destroyed Magnussen) Come along, John!

MAGNUSSEN seizes a letter opener and tries to stab SHERLOCK with it, JOHN decks him.

JOHN: And know that Sherlock Holmes is under the protection of John and Mary Watson, so don't even think about trying that again. Dweeb.

SHERLOCK smiles his proud "that's my Jawn" smile but also there's a lot of emotion in his eyes because John said that Mary and he will look after him.


Then they have a threesome and live happily ever after in a polyamory relationship

THE END

[identity profile] nursedarry.livejournal.com 2014-01-16 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
All good, except you left out the part where Mycroft and Lestrade leap from the helicopter and jump on everyone and they all tumble over the grass pulling each others' clothes off.

And that's STILL 100x more believable, IC, and entertaining.

I know their version was "based in canon" (with another character, no less), but it just worked so much better on paper.

[identity profile] ayuzak.livejournal.com 2014-01-16 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
God how I wish it was your version.

I get happy excited chills just picturing your scenario.

[identity profile] shadowfireflame.livejournal.com 2014-01-17 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
...I would watch the hell out of this. Especially that last bit. Yes.

[identity profile] boysinperil.livejournal.com 2014-01-17 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
I approve of this ending x9000.

[identity profile] berylia.livejournal.com 2014-01-18 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
This is the ending I wanted.

I think you could amend it just a little more by Lestrade coming out of the Yard to light a smoke and Mycroft joining him, just that, nothing else on the scene, the familiarity of smoking together at the end of a case.

100% will vote for you to replace the writers and directors.

[identity profile] marta-bee.livejournal.com 2014-01-21 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
What shadowfireflame said. This would have been so much better.

[identity profile] marta-bee.livejournal.com 2014-01-21 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Plus, you know, it would have given them time for Sherlock to finally give John a proper apology for Reichenbach.
ext_1630685: (Default)

Here's a cookie

[identity profile] vinib.livejournal.com 2014-01-22 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
This is much much better than the actual scene. And the final note, Hells to the YEAH!!

[identity profile] certainetymolo.livejournal.com 2014-01-22 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
YEEEES! I WANT THAT GIMME THAT.

Seriously, the more I think about TLV and its wasted potential, the more I want to stomp around the room in anger. Moffat can write brilliant stuff (SiP, anyone?) but maybe it's a bit like with George Lucas in that he shouldn't be given too free a reign over anything. He's a drama queen who loves flashy twists and is prepared to screw logic or continuity or whatever, and it's driving me nuts. Yes, Sherlock shooting Magnusson was a shocker, but it was also really, really stupid. We could have had another brilliant series of Sherlock and Magnusson blackmailing each other, with Mary's life being at stake and John being badass and Mystrade working in the background to set up a trap and Magnusson being vile and evil... you know, something that actually uses the characters you established to their full extent.

I'll stop ranting at you now, though, sorry.

frozen_delight: (baffled)

[personal profile] frozen_delight 2014-01-22 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Why wasn't this filmed? Hell, why wasn't this written???

This really should have been the ending.
It wouldn't have made everything right that was wrong with Season 3 and in particular the last episode, but it would have mollified me a lot and made me overlook everything that upset me.

Once again, a big thank you!!!